Speak your mind
by Hellmouth23
Summary: Jack and Kate are next door neighbours and have been for the last six months. What could possibly ensue from that? JATE AU Fic T Rated.
1. Chapter 1

**Speak your mind**

**Okay guys I know that this has probably been done before but I just couldn't resist, hehe. Hope you guys will like this piece. I do have more planned for this but that all depends on whether you guys like it in the first place. The thoughts are in italics guys, just to clear up any confusion in advance :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own lost, Jack or Kate no matter how many birthday wishes I make.**

_Here she comes again._

_Okay this is it. Now just stay calm and play it cool. Remember you wanna ask her out, not force her to move to another State._

"Hey, Kate."

_Oh God why did I say that. Now she's gonna think I'm some weird stalker or something._

"Hi."

_It's him. It's…… oh God I've forgotten his name._ _Six months I've thought about him constantly and I can't even remember his freaking name._

_Okay it's a "J" sounding name……_

"Jack right?"

"Yeah!"

_Damnit, too eager. Now she's gonna think I'm some kind of a psycho or worse……_

"So…..everything okay?"

_Great, what the hell kind of a pick up line is tha__t Jack. After all this time of planning to ask her out this is the best you can come up with._

"Uh, everything's good……yeah."

_Say something,_

"So……"

_Something,_

"I guess I'll see you later."

_Anything,_

"Yeah….see ya."

_Boom._

* * *

The time is 5.54 pm now and it's been exactly five hours, forty minutes and 23 seconds since I last saw her and ever since then all I can think about is……

_I wonder what she's doing now? _

* * *

(Meanwhile – Next door)

_I'm looking around for something to do, but I can't seem to focus and why……because of him._

"Damn him" I grunt in frustration as I throw myself over the couch feeling like a spoilt little kid, but can I help it?

_No._

My first instinct is to blame him for the way I feel, but as I think about it I can see that I'm partly to blame as well.

_It's been six months._

Six months of feeling this way and not once have I ever gained the courage to say it out loud and to his face.

_Ugh….w__hy is it so hard?_

_I mean it's not like I'm asking him to go to bed with me or anything. Although………._

_Focus Kate, focus._

_Now what could I use as an excuse to see him again._

_Something to fix?_

_Yeah, me for example…._

_**Focus** _

_Food perhaps?_

_Right, food it is, _I affirm myself and then head on down towards the kitchen to see what I can rustle up.

_It's only then I ask myself the most obvious question of all._

_What does he like?_

* * *

_Uh, I know we've been neighbours for a while now and I would just like to……_

_Date you?_

_Yeah. Perfect way to promote the creep factor._

_Date me?_

_Conceited much._

_Okay, okay how about……_

_I like you Kate._

_There we go. See that wasn't so hard. So why is it so hard to say?_

"I like you Kate" I finally speak into the vacant space before me, hoping with every fibre of my being that she was there instead.

_It would make matters so much easier._

**Knock, knock**

The first thing I do is immediately look at my watch, and when I see that only 5 five minutes have passed, I sigh and pull myself up to see who's at the door knowing it's probably some annoying creditor or…..

"Kate?"

_Oh God, she's here. _

"Hi."

_God he's hot._

_Do you want a restraining order?_

"I uh…..I just wanted to apologise."

_Apologize?_

"For what?"

_I love his eyes. They're just so…….._

_Concentrate – right- the apology. Now what was I_ _apologising for again?_

_Think, brain think._

_Oh yeah……_

"About what happened earlier today, I….I didn't mean to come off rude or anything….

_But…_

_C'mon girl you can say it._

"Anyway hope you're a fan of veggie lasagne."

_What the……._

"Wow! Thanks Kate." I utter in complete astonishment, trying to conceal the excitement I feel at seeing her, here, in front of me looking as beautiful as ever. Corny but true.

_Go for it,_

_Do it, do it…….._

"You wanna come in?" I propose in an effort to break the awkward silence between us.

_Please say yes. Please….._

"Uh…sure, thanks."

_Yes!!_

The moment she brushes past me, I feel the slightest urge to find some way to touch her, and I thankfully receive that opportunity the very next minute when she unexpectedly trips over my foot and lands straight into the area I want her the most, against me.

However I'm forced to immediately pull myself out of it due to the tray of lasagne now digging into my side, and I can now see that half my shirt is also stained due to the distinct positioning of the tray.

"I'm so sorry."

_Great, I'_ _ve messed everything up._

"Don't worry about it." I barely have the time to reply before she's already trying to make it all better, but what she doesn't realise is that she already has. Just by being here she has.

_She doesn't even realise how much I want her._

_Every day _

_Every night_

_She doesn't even know._

I feel like I've been wiping the area forever but my efforts are useless and that frustrates me even more.

_This is not what I __had planned. _

"Hey, hey it's okay. It's not that bad" I feel the need to reassure her when her failed efforts force her to mumble incoherent curses. A sight I find heartbreakingly cute to the point where I just want to grab her and…….

"All done."

_Damnit_

_When will I ever get __the chance to say it?_

**So...what's the verdict guys? yay or nay?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Wow thanks so so much for all the positive feedback guys. I'm so glad you guys are already liking this fic****, and I myself am having a lot of fun writing it too. If only we knew what was going through their heads on the show eh, hehe. Anyhoo thanks once again guys and here's the next instalment.**

**Btw I was aksed how old Jack and Kate are in this fic and i would class them in their early 20's here :)**

Enjoy

_She's just standing there now…..Oh wait,_

_I'm doing the same thing as well._

_Shit._

"Uh… can I get you something to drink?"

_Nothing_

_Why is she not saying anything, and why is she looking at my chest in a weird way?_

_Is she checking me out?_

_She's still not saying anything._

"Water's fine. Need any help?"

_Need any help? What __were you thinking Kate? _

_God, you'd might as well be saying the words, "would you go to bed with me?"_

"No, it's okay. Thanks." I reply upon finally realising the reason for her constant staring, and with that said I quickly move towards the kitchen, accidentally knocking myself into the frame of the kitchen doorway along the way, but I'm relatively quick on recovering from the pain, more so the embarrassment.

_She didn't see me did she?_

_"Phew"_

_

* * *

__God eve__rything is so big and expensive, and he's quite the bookworm as well._

_He must be a Doctor or something._

"Here you go."

"Whoah…..you scared me." I gasp in genuine fear but it subsides almost immediately as I look into those eyes once again.

_You're losing it again._

_**Focus.**_

"Sorry"

_Nice going Jack. __You're scaring the poor, hot girl already._

"Nice place you have here" I feel the need to comment for so many reasons, the most pressing one of all being the uncomfortable silence that still hung between them.

"Thanks."

_C'mon she's dropping you a bone here man. _

_But what if I scare her away?_

_Oh for God sake….._

_TAKE IT!!_

"Would you like a tour?"

"Uh…sure."

_I wonder __if this tour comes with any extras._

_Cause I definitely wouldn't say no to a little……_

_Does your mind ever stay out of the gutter?_

_Err…can I even blame me, just look at him, looking hotter than ever in that navy blue fitted T-shirt._

_God I wanna touch him right now._

_Would he mind if I did?_

_**Tour, woman!!**_

"Follow me." I nervously announce and then hesitantly lead her to the first room which just so happens to be the kitchen. The moment I walk in, my eyes immediately fall upon the pile of dirty dishes still lying in the sink, and I say to myself "if there's a God up there somewhere, he's punishing me right now".

"Sorry abut all the mess I….." I try to explain but she thankfully stops me from babbling any further.

"I'm the same way when it comes to cleaning or……"

_Stop, before you make it worse than it already is._

_Subject change, subject change._

"Good to know." I reply with a shared expression of amusement, but I feel oddly comforted at knowing one more piece about her. It may not be a flawless quality but it's more than enough. Besides when has flawless and petty ever been my type.

"_Good to know"_

_Jeez, now he's gonna think__ that I'm some kind of slob or something. _

_So why is he smiling?_

"And this is my lounge slash dining room."

_She's smiling._

_She's so damn beautiful when she does that._

"Neat" is all I can verbally offer as I succumb to his close observations of my every move and gesture. The outcome willing me to accentuate whatever is pleasing him because it does the same for me in return.

"I uh….I guess that's it. Hope you enjoyed the show."

_Maybe she won't ask._

"So I guess that leaves us with the main show right."

_Crap__,_

_She wants to see it._

"You sure you're ready for that." I tease though hoping she would take the hint.

"Why not? Not hiding some shameful secret are you?"

_Understatement_

"C'mon it can't be that bad." I stress in a prolonged tone and manner, knowing I'm probably pushing my boundaries here but my curiosity to know that part of him fills my senses at that moment.

_What do I say?_

_What will she say?_

_Do something._

"Uh…." I start off and then pause to find some kind of excuse, and I feel like jumping for joy when the phone suddenly starts ringing.

_Saved by the bell_

"Hello."

"Uh….okay, I'll be right there." I hear him say and I sigh in disappointment of what's about to come.

_And just when we were getting to the good stuff_

"That was the Hospital, they're kind of short staffed and I'm on call so……" I offer in an apologetic manner feeling a tad disheartened myself that the light hearted moment between us had to be cut short.

_What are you complaining__ about Jackass?_

_Do you want her to find out?_

_**SHUT UP!! **_

"Hey, hey it's okay, maybe another time…… Doctor."

_So I was right, he is a Doctor._

_One word for that, hot hot hot._

"So can I see you again?"

_I don't want this to end_

In response to his question I simply smile and then walk forward, dismissing every plaguing thought along the way, and when I am directly In front of him I slowly lean in and peck him on the cheek. His face leaning into the warmth my lips bring along with its touch, and I hear the softest of moans escape his lips when I finally decide to pull away.

"I'm counting on it." I then whisper as my gaze alternates between admiring his lips and holding his gaze to gauge some sort of reaction to my statement.

_Jack's mind………blank_

"I'll see you" I finish while dragging the tips of my fingers along the length of his chest and before he can register what's happening I'm already walking away with a smile on my face.

_The heat is on._

**So ****can Jack continue to resist the charms of his next door neighbour? All I can say is……nah I don't wanna spoil it, hehe.**

**P.S. Why was Jack so afraid to show Kate his bedroom? It's nothing perverted, I promise lol ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Again thanks so much for the lovely reviews guys and I hope I can continue to maintain a good level of intrigue within this fic. Here you go guys :)**

Enjoy

I've been standing in the same spot for the last ten minutes or so, still reeling from what just happened.

_She kissed me._

_On the cheek, but still…._

_So I guess she likes me, _ I muse to myself feeling so elated and relieved after having lived in uncertainty all this time.

_This must be what lov……_

_No, don't even jinx it this time man._

_Not after what happened with……_

_God, I don't even want to think of that name because all it ever does is bring unwanted memories back._

_Forget_ _about her and live in the now._

_Starting with this annual charity event that you're meant to be at…_

_LIKE _ _NOW!!_

And with that in mind I snap myself back into reality and continue on with my day, though sparing a few minutes of that time thinking about the beautiful brunette once again.

However my thoughts also drift toward the other thing I feel could stand in the way of all of this.

_The one thing I don't want her to _ _know._

* * *

_You probably creeped him out you know. What with the lasagne and the _ _finger touching._

_God, what was I thinking?_

_You wanted to touch him._

_Ugh….._

"I need a drink" I propose to myself in an effort to drown out my thoughts for the time being because all they're gonna get me is an early admission into a psychiatric facility.

Ten minutes later and I'm sitting comfortably on my sofa with a hot cup of coffee sitting on the small table beside the arm of my chair.

_I should have seen it coming. I mean how can a guy like him even think of me in that way._

_Me, a ……._

**Ring, ring**

"Hello."

"Kate, honey it's me."

_I know that tone._

_I wonder what it is this time._

"Hi Shan." is all I say though bracing myself for what's to come.

"I need your help."

_Bingo_

"Okay" I respond anyway and then pause, giving her the time to properly affirm me of the kind of help she needs at the moment.

"Well I'm catering at this annual charity event and I'm kind of short staffed at the moment, so could you…………"

_Note to self, _

_I _ _need a life!!_

"What's the address?" I ask, relenting with a sigh and beating myself up at how agreeing I am to almost anything. It's a good but frustrating quality at the same time.

_Damn me and my good nature._

* * *

"Thanks for doing this Mom. I know I probably took you out of your plans and all but I….."

"Hey, there's nothing more I love than spending time with him."

"Thanks." I reply with a tone of gratitude in an attempt to hide the undertone of sadness I feel at what happened not so long ago and so suddenly to say the least.

_Why?_

_Why did it have to be like this_ , I sometimes ask myself hoping to find an answer in return, but all I'm left with is nothing.

_You know that's not true._

_You do have something……_

_Maybe it had to be like this_ , I try to affirm my doubts knowing I'm not a big believer in faith, especially since the accident but I keep an open mind to the possibility.

_A second chance_

"You alright honey?" I find myself being asked by the person now in front of me. The one person I could honestly trust and rely on for anything and that comforts me considerably.

"Yeah, just……"

"Just what?"

"Just thinking if things would have been different if I didn't ignore……"

"Don't Jack. You know it's not your fault so stop beating yourself up about it because it's not good for you….or him for that matter."

_How can I stop when I know it is_ _._

_If I hadn't been so damn selfish at the time then none of this would have had to happen._

_If only I listened to what my instincts were telling me….._

_He would rightfully be with her right now,_

_Guess there are some things you can't fix._

"Okay" I numbly agree while allowing myself to fall into the warming embrace of my Mother's arms, immediately feeling a whole lot better, and part of that also has to do with the sight occurring just outside my window getting.

_She's so beautiful._

_Graceful_

_And just...just so_ _beautiful._

_You're_ _reverting to the goofball persona again._

_Shut up_

Her luxurious brown curls moving effortlessly through the light summer breeze as she walks towards her car.

At that precise moment I feel like nothing exists other than her, and I marvel at how much of an effect she already has on me. So much so that I don't even hear my own Mother asking me something about…..

_The weather_ _was it?_

"So you're not gonna do this to yourself anymore okay."

_Definitely not_ _the weather, but close enough though since I am as unpredictable as it in some ways. _

"Okay" I repeat in a convincing manner, hoping that she would drop it there, and much to my relief she does and then asks if it's okay to see him now.

All I do in response is nod in agreement and then head out to the annual charity event I've been invited to, not before scurrying on upstairs to capture one last peek in an effort to soothe my conscience, more so the guilt I've been feeling all this time.

* * *

"Oh God! I'm so glad you're here now."

"Looks like I got here in time." I muse as I see the kitchen I've walked into in a complete and utter mess.

_Should I tell her that she's got frosting _ _all over her face?_

_Nah_

"So what are we starting with?" I ask instead while trying to not to barf too much at some of the things I'm seeing at the moment.

_Frogs legs, _ _steamed baby octopus, fried chicken feet……._

_What are these people like?_

_And these are just the appetisers._

"Uh…here you go." I'm verbally offered the next minute along with a tray of what I swear look like eyes, but I restrain myself from conveying my disgust because I know its not only offensive to Shannon, but also to the Chef who probably spent a tedious amount of time preparing these dishes.

"Thanks once again for doing this Kate."

"What are friends for, eh" I respond with a gathering smile but it soon disappears when I walk out through the kitchen doors and then immediately catch sight of the one person I wish wasn't here now, and I have no choice but to face him one way or another.

_Okay don't look at him, don't look at him._

_If you don't then he won't notice you._

Although my constant concentration on him despite my conflicting thoughts suddenly forces me to collide into an approaching waiter, leading my tray to go flying and me to fall into the arms of none other than……..

_Oh my God_

**Hehe, so I think it's fairly obvious what the next chapter is about. ** **Also more will be revealed concerning the new found responsibility Jack has. Believe me the circumstances of this "arrangement" are not what you think they are.**

**So what do you think so far guys?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Hey guys! Back with another update with an end that might signify the start of something potentially juicy** **for the next chapter. So without further interruption here it is and once again thanks so much for the reviews guys. It seriously makes writing this fic even more fun so thanks and I hope you guys will like this instalment as well :)**

Enjoy

_Is it a bird?_

_Is it a plane?_

_No, it's just me looking into the eyes of my hero, or as he's formerly known to everyone else as…..Jack._

_Jack!!_

_Oh crap it's him._

"Erm…thanks." Is all I have the decency to offer after what he's just done for me.

"No problem."

_What is she doing here? _

_She's a waitress?_

_It is a waitress uniform._

_She_ _looks so damn hot in it._

_I wonder what she would_ _look and feel like without all of this on?_

_Stay out of the gutter_ _…….for now._

He's so incredibly gentle in his every touch. So caring of my well being as he balances me on my feet once again, allowing his hand to still grasp mine when he's done. To the point where I'm forced to ask for it back and all he does is chuckle while trying to hide the tell tale signs of his embarrassment.

"You two know each other or something?"

A woman standing next to him suddenly takes it upon herself to intrude and ruin the moment as a result. Although to her it's nothing of the sort.

_Rhymes with witch._

_Katie_

_Okay, okay how about __Miss slutty big boobs. She does fill the part out well, especially in that area._

"Uh….I…." I find myself stuttering for some weird reason and before I can attempt to get the words out, Gabbi, my fellow work colleague is already pulling me away into the party once again.

_What the hell?_

"Kate." I suddenly hear my name being called, and with that I'm forced to abandon my confusion over what just happened.

_What did just happen_ _?_

* * *

"My feet are numb."

"Yeah, it was pretty hectic but we got through it. You should be proud." I tiredly reply as my fatigue forces me to forget about everything else, even the previous occurrences of tonight.

_What changed?_

"You okay?" the blonde across from me asks and I just sigh in response knowing it would be useless anyway to try and pass it off.

_She is Shannon after all._

"Men." I reveal and then sink further into the gloom of my mood.

"As in plural? Wow, so "Katie the innocent" is finally getting some."

_Always the smartass_

_Not that I'm surprised or anything._

"Ha Ha very funny, and let me tell you "Katie the innocent" is honestly sick of having to maintain that title." I practically grunt in a frustrated manner, then arousing nothing but Shannon's genuine concern in turn.

_Sometimes I just wish things were easier._

"Okay c'mon talk to the Grand Master." The blonde jokes in an attempt to elicit some hint of a reaction, but even that fails to make an impression on me.

_Whoah, this is serious._

"This is about him isn't it. Jack right?"

_From the numerous phone conversations we've had about him._

"Is it that obvious." I shoot back with a raise of the eyebrows to make it come off as some sort of joke, but when has it ever been.

_Maybe I should wear a T- shirt __with the words "Horny for Jack Shepherd" printed on it._

"You really like him don't you." Shannon confirms and I slowly reply with a silent agreement, confused at why it's so hard for me to confess, but…….

_It just is._

"So, go for it already."

_Wish it was as easy as that, especially after what happened tonight._

_Does he not want me?_

_Oh God, was he ashamed?_

_Great, here come the waterworks._

"Hey, hey it's gonna be okay sweetie." I find myself being approached and comforted by a friendly voice.

It's some time before I fully compose myself enough to speak and when I do I just wanna cry again, especially with what is then asked of me, the memory enough to cause a noticeable sting.

_Why is this happening to me?_

"Have you tried talking to him? Telling him how you feel?"

"Lasagne." I reply instead, automatically smiling at the memory of what happened that day.

"What?" Shannon asks, obviously baffled by my rather random choice of words.

_Oh, if only she was there to see it all._

_Yeah, and then she would have been drooling the same way you are now._

_Change the subject._

"I just don't know what to do." I sigh feeling physically drained at this point.

_I must be getting old._

_You're 25._

"Just tell him Kate. Tell him how you feel before it's too late."

_Wow, is this really the same Shannon I knew back in High school._

_Makes me wonder_

"Thanks Shan."

* * *

_God_ _, when is this woman gonna get the hint._

"So here I'm thinking we're both free this Friday so why not make the most out of it eh." This woman now frighteningly close literally purrs at me, and all I wanna do instead is try to find the one woman I want to be with this Friday and possibly every day after that.

_I wonder if I can sneak into the kitchen_ _to get a chance to talk to her since she hasn't come out of there since the minor mishap earlier._

_Wouldn't really make a difference though_

_She'_ _s probably never gonna talk to you again._

_Not after what I let happen._

_Nice going Shep, real smooth._ _Now you're stuck with what is considered to be the "Rock bottom" choice._

"So what do you say Jack?" I then hear the annoying equivalent to a banshee's cry pull me out of my thoughts.

_Read my lips……_ _or my mind for the better lack of a term._

_NOT INTERESTED!!_

"Uh……"

"C'mon Jaaack." She more or less whines, pushing her entire body into me and making me feel more uneasy by the minute.

_Spacial awareness_ _, woman_

"Gabbi you're………."

_Pushy _

_Annoying_

_Desperate enough to probably screw __a street lamp pole._

_Okay that's a little harsh……true, but harsh._

"You're a nice girl and all but I just mppphhh…." I barely get the time to breathe before it's violently cut off by a pair of lips literally forcing their way onto mine. The act so indecently lewd that it encourages me to loose what respect I had for this woman.

_Why are you not pulling away?_

(Meanwhile)

_Okay so you're just gonna go __home and try to talk to him sometime tomorrow. _

_That's if the opportunity presents itself._

_You can do this._

With one last deep breath taken I finally push through the heavy metal doors of the kitchen to only be met with a sight that confuses me at first, but soon the realisation of the actions disgustingly displayed here kicks in.

_So this is why he was so nervous earlier on._

I never knew it would hurt this much, but I guess I should have seen it coming all along.

_He's of a different class Katie and you…….._ _well you're just you._

"_**Just tell him Kate. Tell him how you feel before it's too late."** _

The words still ring true in my head but the more I'm a witness to this scene and the more disbelieving I become of there ever being a chance for me.

_You're just wasting your time_ _here._

_Then why do I still feel like this?_

**So will Kate confront him right away and then pull out every strand of hair on Gabbi's head, or will she choose to let her assumptions get the better of her?**

**Plus we'll learn more about "Him" in the next chappie which is ready and waiting to be posted.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Back again guys and with a few answers for** **a change, hehe. As always thanks so much for the reviews and I hope you guys will like this instalment as much as the first 4 ;)**

Enjoy

_Now_ _I could walk away and give him the chance to explain himself later on, not that he has to anyway because what we had obviously doesn't mean as much to him as it did to me and why would it? I mean I didn't give him……._ _**rambling.** _

_Okay, okay_

"God, I hate her" I mumble the obvious as I grow increasingly disgusted and betrayed at the same time, the combination re surfacing my emotions and I'm forced to do nothing but quietly slip away in the end to tend to myself.

_That's all I have now, myself._

I finally manage to pull myself away from this woman, feeling a distinct sense of annoyance for forcing me into something like this.

_There is only so much a man can take before he goes completely…._

_Calm down_

_I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for it._

_How stupid are you._

"Something wrong Jack?" She has the audacity to ask and it only enrages me even more.

_I need to get out of here…….NOW._

"Excuse me." I offer in the politest manner I can muster and before her miniscule mind can think of some pathetic way to suck me back in, I'm long gone feeling nothing but relief in doing so.

* * *

I'm looking in the mirror and all I see is a fool, but again to a certain extent I should have seen this coming.

_He is a guy after all, and I'm what?_

_Just your average corn fed Iowa girl whose sole mission in life is to be alone just because of my heritage._

_Don't be so hard on yourself_

_What else can it be?_

I really thought for once, just once that maybe it would happen. That I'd finally get the man of my dreams sweeping me off my feet while the song "Love lifts us up where we belong" plays in the background.

_Too overrated? _

_Maybe just a little, but I'm still not abandoning the mesmerising visual of Jack in a U.S. navy outfit._

_That's staying, and hey if I can't have him _ _for real at least I can have him this way._

_God, I need a drink……._

_Or a reality check_

_Nah, sticking with the drink_

So with that I quickly wash away the remnants of my tears one last time and then brace myself for the painful ride ahead when I make my way out of the restroom.

_You can do this Katie._

* * *

"So when's the wedding?" I suddenly hear my best friend of 14 years ask me literally out of the blue.

"What?" I ask nearly choking and going into overdrive when the ridiculous referral was made.

"C'mon don't think we all didn't see you playing tonsil hockey earlier on with Gabbi Johnson over there. Who by the way is still staring at you."

_Like I give a crap_

"Finish the deal already man before the rumours start spreading." Marc suggested and then walked off to mingle with the rest of the crowd, leaving me to do something about his suggestion.

_What the hell….._

**Beep beep**

_Thank the Lord._

Or maybe not so much when I read the message, more specifically the words "little Thomas at Mercy Hospital".

_God please no, _ I immediately plead to the heavens and then dart off towards the nearest exit, my form accidentally colliding into someone on the way, knocking them clean off their feet.

"Sorry." I mutter not taking the time to notice the figure at first but then I'm momentarily stilled in shock when my eyes finally connect with the person I'm trying to help up onto their feet again, the depth of her shimmering green eyes truly mesmerising to say the least.

_Thomas_

_**Focus** _

"In a bit of a hurry were you." I state trying my level best to keep the bitterness out of my voice at seeing him, but it fails miserably so I go with option B.

_Try to focus on something other than him._

"Just have to take care of a few things." I respond feeling a little perturbed by her sudden change in demeanour.

_Why can't she look at me?_

_Was it something I did?_

_If I did she would tell me…….she would right?_

"That all I'm gonna get huh." I reply as I take the brief chance to gaze at him, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Only to then have it thrown in my face.

_Men_ _..._

_--_

_Tell her, tell her._

_What if she freaks out?_

_What if I lose her as a result of it?_

_It's just too risky._

"I'm sorry." Is all I offer knowing it isn't enough but I hope with every inch of my aching heart that she would find some way to understand his predicament.

_How can she_ _?_

_When she doesn't even know what it is._

"Yeah……I'm sorry too." I respond not really knowing the specific reason I'm apologising for, but for the moment it seems like an oddly fitting way to end what could have been so wonderful and perfect in her eyes.

_It was in the short time it lasted._

The tears sting at my eyes, fighting with all their might to break free, and they finally do the moment he wordlessly walks away from me in defeat.

_Is this really happening?_

_The pin drop silence definitely suggests that. _

_That's until…….._

"Katie?" a voice calls out to me and there's just something within that tone that takes me back to a place I've never been to for a long, long time. Well not since……

_Oh my God, it could only be………_

I'm simply at a loss for words when I'm finally faced with the one person I never thought I'd see here and now.

_It is_

_Why is he here?_

_Never mind that cause I'm still in the "Oh my God" stage._

"You're….."

"In the flesh sweetheart." The person replies while holding their arms out for the brunette to run into.

"I can't believe you're here." I muse in genuine astonishment as I tighten my grip on the person I'm embracing at the moment.

_Yup, i_ _t's really him._

_Still can't believe it though_

* * *

I rush through the doors of the bustling Hospital like a mad man but I have a perfectly valid excuse to be like that at this minute.

_God, I hope it's nothing serious_

"Can I help you Sir?"

_Yeah, with a lot of things_

"Tom. Thomas Shepherd."

_C'mon, c'mon_

"Uh, yes he was admitted into the Paediatric I.C.U about an hour ago, room no. 42 but visiting hours are ….Sir you can't." the woman behind the desk barely has the chance to get out before I hear the one thing that makes my heart thump even faster with fear and dread.

_I_ _.C.U?_

_Guess it's a lot more serious than I thought._

Ten strides later and I finally catch sight of my Mother sitting by herself, slowly rocking back and forth, her focus planted on the closed door before her.

"Mom?"

"Oh Jack. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." Is all she says almost in shame suggesting an involvement of some kind, but I also assure myself of the fact that there is probably a reasonable explanation for this. Never the less it still doesn't make me any less worried about the little boy I never thought I'd feel so much for.

_**Almost** _ _a Father's love..._

**Okay so we now know who Jack's him is (well almost), but who is Kate's?? ** **And more importantly will Jack and Kate ever reconcile, especially with all these new obstacles coming at possibly the worst time ever. More will definitely be revealed in the next instalment ...**

**Any guesses as to who Kate's "Him" might be??**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Back with the mind talk fic hehe and as always thanks so much for the reviews, and all I can say is brace yourselves with this instalment ;)**

**P.S. Oooh most of you guessed James….**

Enjoy

_What happened?_

Is the more obvious question to ask but right now I just wanna bask.

_Okay I'm basked._

"What are you doing here?" I ask growing a little weary when he hesitates with the question.

_Great, what did he do this time?_

"Jamie." I stress deliberately using that referral and it works like a charm, gaining his complete attention along with a sharp gaze of annoyance for that very reason.

_He's always had a thing with names._

_Wonder which__ one he was going by this week?_

_The usual__ I guess_

_James, Sawyer, hot stuff…._

_Eww_

_Ahhh whateve__r._

"You heard from Mom?" he asks me and the answer is written all over my frowning face.

_I can still picture that day so clearly in my head. _

_The time of day_

_The things we wore_

_The day she chose my drunken Step Father over me_

"Not really." I reply choosing to be truthful in an attempt to get something, anything.

_Not to say I haven't tried myself._

"Yeah, same 'ere."

_Since when is my brother from Tennessee _

"So what ya been up to sis?" he decides to ask and I'm stumped, not because I don't have anything to say.

_No, it's pretty much the opposite._

"That bad huh" he adds making me chuckle for the first time that night.

_So he hasn't lost the sarcastic streak that made him my brother._

"Anyways enough about me so how was it?" I ask feeling considerably better than I was 10 minutes before.

_Shit_

_What am I gonna tell her?_

_Should I come out straight with it, or just ease her into it?_

"Ain't that much to tell freckles"

"Oh is that how we're playing it now." I tease but he knows that there is a slight hint of seriousness behind the statement. Besides the twit just called me freckles and no one gets away with that, especially him.

_Oh i__t's on._

"Playin what?" he asks me playing the dumbfounded look down to a tee and I see right through it.

_For crying out loud I invented the look__ along with the never failing pout._

"So how long are you in town for?" I enquire and that's when my eyes fall upon the filthy rucksack slung upon his right shoulder, wordlessly suggesting what I assumed.

"I was actually lookin for a Hotel and……" he starts off in a surprisingly humble manner but I simply cut him off knowing exactly where this was heading, and to be honest I could use some company at the moment.

"C'mon." I confirm and then signal for him to follow, him showing a hint of reluctance at first to mainly suffice his ego, but he soon gave in seeing no other plausible option.

_Men__._

"Aww don't worry bro cause I'm well past the whole playing dress up with you stage."

_Can't say he'__s improved all that much in that department._

_He's a guy._

_But still…_

_He could have at least cleaned up a bit_

_**He's a guy!!**_

"Hey, I was like four." He shot back, defending himself over something that could potentially ruin his social life for the next thirty years.

"And soooo pretty." I tease and then earn myself a gentle nudge in my side, a wordless urge for me to stop but these are the moments I cherished the most about my childhood. A time when it wasn't filled with pain, lies and deceit.

* * *

"Mom tell me what happened?" I ask in a firm tone and manner, feeling that it was the only way to gain her attention.

"I…..I didn't know Jack."

_Huh?_

"Didn't know what Mom?" I question growing worried and slightly agitated at her resistance to just give me a straight answer. It also rouses an element of suspicion that I can't seem to ignore. I dare ask myself the question…..

_Was she responsible?_

"Mr. Shepherd." A seemingly unknown voice suddenly makes itself known, but upon observing the person I can see he is the one who holds the cure to soothe my worry

"How is he?"

_Please don't let it be serious._

"Has Thomas ever had any troubles with breathing in the past?"

_Trouble with breathing?_

"No, why?" I respond utterly baffled but immensely worried at what this might suggest, specifically the long term effects of harbouring such a condition.

"Well I wouldn't worry too much about it at this stage, but I would still like to take the necessary precautions and do some further tests just to make sure."

_Tests?_

_What tests?_

"Sir?" I'm reminded when I fail to immediately respond knowing that as Tom's legal guardian it's up to me to decide whether it's okay to do this.

_Better to be safe than sorry _

"Uh, yeah….okay."

_He'll be fine_

_I don't know that._

_I don't know anything._

_I need to…._

"Can I see him?"

"Sure, but I would have to limit it to one visitor at a time." The doctor calmly warned feeling it was the best way to not exert the boy's rather tedious condition in any way.

"Go." Is all my Mother says with a smile through her tears, mine soon surfacing when my eyes are finally faced with a scene that breaks me completely.

_I can't lose him too._

**There we go guys. So we of course learned who Kate's him was and all I can say is that there's a reason he's back in town besides visiting his sister. Here's the hint, "He's done a little research". Plus little Tom's condition might just be related to the very thing that took his Mother. Speaking of which who is his Mother? **

**More answers will come along with a few more deep, dark secrets…..**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Back again guys and this** **instalment should clear up things a bit and in fact it might finally give you guys some good solid answers. As always thanks for the reviews :)**

Enjoy

"Nice little place you got here."

"Thanks" is all I say in response to my brother's compliment, my mind more troubled by the fact that my neighbour's house in still in darkness.

_He's probably out with his slut_ _or…….._

_Katie_

_What, she is_ _and she should be thankful that that's all I'm referring to her as for the time being._

"So what's for dinner?"

_Ah, how could I forget._

_My brother, the bottomless pit_

"Well there's some left over Chinese takeout and lasagne in the fridge so by all means help yourself."

"Jeez woman is this all you're living on these days." I more or less grumble at the worryingly slim frame of my sister, but all she does is laugh in my face about it.

_We'll see who'll be_ _the last one laughing once I get through to her._

"Night Jamie" I reply in a genuinely tired manner, and with that I retire to the comforting yet considerably lonely confines of my bedroom.

* * *

(Back at the Hospital)

I've been sitting here for God knows how long and what worries me more than ever is the lack of movement let alone change in his condition.

_Been here before haven't I?_

"Any change?" a feminine voice suddenly voices the very question I've been asking myself while slightly rocking back and forth like a mental patient.

_This is a good enough reason to be crazy_

"No" I numbly respond to the approaching woman who as I can now see is as distressed as I am but it still doesn't force me to dismiss my suspicions.

_Is this really the time?_

_Knowing the specific details might help._

_Okay rock, paper, scissors……._

"What happened?" I ask after a good amount of thought filled time knowing that this was the right thing to do no matter how much it apparently pained her.

_What do I tell him?_

_It was my fault. If I had only told him earlier on then none of this would have happened._

_He needs to know, he has a right, especially now._

"Do you remember the day Claire collapsed?"

_Yeah, how could I damn well forget_ _._

"Yeah but Mom what does this……" I try to argue seeing no sense of relevance whatsoever but there's just something within her tone that encourages me to listen.

_Give her a chance man._

"And remember when I said it was nothing?"

_Okay now I'm pissed._

_Calm down_

"Yeah." I reply in a cautious tone, my focus still devoted towards my worryingly pale boy.

_I don't care what_ _the blood work says….._

_HE'S MY BOY NOW!!_

"Well it wasn't just anything. The Doctors assured your Father and me that it was nothing to worry about at the time, but….."

"But what Mom?" I urge trying to keep my voice down but the rising anger within me restricts me from behaving in any other manner.

"They later found out that it was lung cancer." The elderly woman shamefully revealed knowing that it could very well be the same condition her grandson had.

_Claire?_

_Lung cancer?_

_What about……_

_Okay I'm confused._

"I thought it was drug overdose." I firmly remind her, recollecting exactly what exactly went through my head on that dreaded day.

_Shock_

_Disbelief_

_The sight of my sister's pale and lifeless body_

"It's what we thought too at first but the results from the autopsy spoke differently."

"So why are you telling me this now?" I then ask utterly aggravated at learning this new piece of information when it was clearly too late.

_Or is there another reason _ _she's bringing this up now?_

"Cause Thomas might be suffering from it too." she finally reveals while focusing on the one person I still hoped she wasn't referring to.

_God, no….._

_Anyone but him_

_She_ _has to be wrong._

_The symptoms do fit though_

_Maybe, but still…_

"What makes you think that Tom is suffering from the same condition his Mother did?" I challenge though secretly knowing the strong possibility of my Mother's guess.

_It's not completely unheard of._

_A 50 chance_

"You and I both know that Tom is not like other kids Jack."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I hiss immediately earning a mixed glance of shock and hurt from the woman across from me. The combination getting to me, and also forcing me to understand and then begrudgingly accept what she really meant no matter how much I've been trying to deny it all this time.

_Something has to be done_

_I need to fix this_

_But how….._

_Some form of Chemo, I don't know what but I have to try._

"Jack, where are you going?" I'm asked by the emotionally distraught woman as I rise to physically further my thoughts.

"To stop history from repeating itself." Is all I more or less mumble still angered at being lied to but I still regard the fact that she is my Mother.

"I'm sorry for not telling you about this earlier."

"Yeah….. and I'm sorry too." I reply in a monotonous manner while capturing one last glance at Tom's face knowing that this fight was worth everything just to see him up and running again.

_I'm not gonna loose him, he means too much to me._

_Even if he is just my nephew._

**Well there it is and I hope it's cleared up the confusion a bit. So we now know who Thomas' Mother is or was now that she's passed, but there is something else that Margo hasn't told Jack because knowing it might just push him off the edge completely….**

**Next Chapter: Jack strives to find the most effective cure and ** **Kate learns something about her Brother. Plus a lil jate seeing as this instalment lacked a bit in that area.**

**So what do ya think so far? **

**If you guys are confused about anything please let me know and I will do my best to clear it up :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**As always thanks so much for the reviews guys and I just wanted to leave you with this instalment while I head off to do some last minute packing lol for the trip back home. I better hurry because my Mom is already glaring at me lol. Now this is the chapter where things really start to get more serious and intense but jatey as promised. **

Enjoy

"Good morning L.A. and today is going to be a great…………"

_Ugh, __damn alarm clock_

_Why can't they just be silent when __you want them to be?_

_Cursed technology_

Never the less I pull myself out of bed only to be immediately graced with the light of a new day, but it all comes to a standstill when I suddenly hear what sounds like something smashing followed by a string of profanity that makes me chuckle in realisation of who it was bound to be. With that I reluctantly disentangle myself from the comfort of my bed and then head on downstairs to see what kind of mess my Brother has made.

"Mornin." He briefly greets me when I face not him but the utter mess he has made of my kitchen and all of this over a stack of misshapen pancakes.

_At least he tried._

"Morning." I reply with a warm smile but I can't help but chuckle when i see that he's made a complete mess of himself as well.

"Ahh Jamie, what am I gonna do without ya."

"Miss my funny shape pancakes that's for sure."

_He wishes._

As a natural reflex I then look outside my window as I do everyday, still hoping for a peek of him but much to my dismay I get nothing. His car is still nowhere to be seen and it frightens and disheartens me considerably to assume the worst.

_Guess I was in way over my head._

"Hey, you alright?" I suddenly find myself being asked in a tone that causes a strain upon my hearing but I can see that he does it mainly out of concern so I let him off the hook….

_For now._

"Yeah…. Yeah I'm…." I try to find the words to explain how I'm really feeling but it's complicated.

"Distracted." He guesses and I just snicker in turn, deciding to then opt for a change of subject here because I'm already hurting as it stands.

_The last thing I __need is another pep talk._

"So what's on the agenda today?" I then inquire whilst I put on a fresh pot on coffee, cause I personally prefer my coffee liquidised not chewy.

_You need a new coffee machine already. _

"Uh….not much. Just gonna take it easy, probably have a few beers and……."

"Sounds fun but since you have absolutely nothing to do maybe you could help me with something." I propose, evoking a weary expression out of him and I let out a devious smile while instructing for him to follow me.

"Wow. When was the last time you used this thing?"

"Technically never but it came along with the house so I thought it was a pretty good deal at the time." I explain but I'm immediately cut off not only by the deafening sound of the lawn mower, but also by the heart wrenching roar of pain then coming out of my Brother, and before I can attempt to ask, I'm finally met with a sight that puts me into a state of deep shock.

_Can that much blood really come out of one finger? _

"Oh my God!!" I keep on chanting in terror and it takes at least a few minutes for me to think of a way to stop the bleeding from…..

_a) Making him pass out._

_b) Making ME pass out!!_

"C'mon" I then briefly instruct while literally hauling him back into the house when I sense that he is about to pass out from the injury.

Once I get into the house and get him seated comfortably, I run into the kitchen to grab hold of the first aid kit, and once I manage to find I bolt back to the room I left him in and I physically cringe when my eyes land upon the mass of blood now covering the majority of his trembling arm.

_God, it's bad._

"Jamie!!" I call out as I rush to tend to him, carefully wrapping what was left of his bleeding finger in the bandage, feeling that maybe further help was needed in a situation such as this. So without hesitation I grab hold of my car keys and carefully usher him with some difficulty due to his efforts of insisting that it wasn't too serious, but I simply ignore it and trust my better judgement instead.

"We're going to the Hospital"

* * *

(Back at the Hospital)

_I hate feeling like this._

"Jack?" I then faintly hear a voice calling out to me but I'm too focused on the person before me.

_The one person I want, no __"NEED" to fix for so many reasons. One of them being the solemn oath I made to my step sister right before she died._

"Mom." I numbly acknowledge her, still conveying my obvious anger for being lied to all this time, but I also feel a physical sting when I observe her reaction to my rather harsh behaviour.

_Still, she lied to me….__._

_She's your Mother. The one person whom you can truly say has been there for you since day one._

_Even after the whole Andrea fiasco._

"I….." I start out but before I can finish she nods to herself in realisation of some sort and then wordlessly makes her way out.

_Give her a chance._

"I'm sorry." Is what I offer as she passes me and she immediately comes to a halt, offering me an expression filled with hope for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry for coming down so hard on you Mom, but I……"

"You don't have to explain yourself Jack. You were perfectly justified in your argument and you were right this is something I should have told you a long time ago, but I just didn't want to worry you unnecessarily at the time."

"I know." I softly admit in realisation of her intentions and with that the moment soon dissolves into an awkward silence.

_What else can I do?_

Although the question is whether I'm truly past this, because a part of me still feels that a difference could have been made if……..

_Don't dwell on the past and keep wondering "what if" because you know there's an equally good chance that it would not have made a difference if you knew from the start._

_She's not to blame._

At that moment I look up and see her staring at Thomas in a way that I'm only able to interpret as, regret.

"Can you stay with him while I check on a few things?" I calmly ask of her and she immediately faces me with a look of complete surprise.

_Not a full blown __reconciliation but……it's a start._

"Sure." She replies with a smile to convey her gratitude for granting her the one thing she truly wanted.

_A second chance__._

* * *

(A few rooms away)

"There you go." The working nurse declares as she makes the final touches on what I believe to be an obscene amount of bandages, but I'm grateful none the less that it wasn't as serious as I originally thought it was.

"Don't I get a lollypop darlin?"

_Yup__, he's back._

"Have a nice day Sir and try not to exert yourself too much." The nurse offers with a roll of the eyes to obviously convey her interest, or more so the very lack of it.

_If only they __published a "Pick up lines for Dummy's guide" _

_Eww, where did that come from._

"What?" he asks in all innocence of his sultry antics and I simply chuckle while walking off leaving him to quickly grab hold of his jacket and follow me.

"She was checkin me out you know."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that bro." I tease while nudging him in a playful manner, but I come to an abrupt stop when I suddenly realise the one thing I'm missing.

_My keys_.

"Something wrong?"

"Huh, oh just my keys. I probably left them back in the examination room." I guess and before he can volunteer I wave it off and then tell him to head down to the car.

_Nothing I can't handle._

Once he more than willingly complies much to my genuine surprise, I then see him literally bolting it out of there like his life depended on it.

_Wow, something must have spooked him._

It is rather weird for him though because the least I would have expected was for him to put up a little bit of a fight, but no he just ran off.

_Weirdo._

Never the less I try to dismiss the growing suspicion I feel at what I've just witnessed and instead I focus my mind on the task at hand.

"Keys" I mumble in realisation and then turn myself around only to collide into someone I'm vaguely familiar with.

_I've seen that sturdy chest before…_

"I'm so sorry…Jack?" I start to apologise but widen my eyes in shock of the fairly dishevelled person standing before me.

_He's still sexy as hell though._

"Kate?"

_She's here?_

_Wait, why is she here?_

"Are you okay?" I then ask in an effort to calm my growing worry for her, especially when she fails to respond.

_What do I tell him? _

_The truth_

_Err do I really want to know the "juicy" details about his little tumble in the hay with….._

_Not that genius._

"Uh, yeah I just…..just had to take care of a few things." I explain hating that there is this wall between us but at the same time I know that it's needs to be there.

_I can't stand to be burned again. _

"Things?" I blurt out before I gain the chance to restrain my curiosity.

_Great, you've really done it this time Shepherd._

_Could you be more inquisitive?_

_Jeez…_

"My Brother." I reveal and recieve the gasp of surprise I had predicted to hear from him.

_She has a Brother?_

"Wow" I muse in genuine astonishment of this new information.

"Yeah." Is all I can offer in response to his shock and with that we're back in the silent, awkward department again.

_Do something._

Well I better tend to him then." I awkwardly announce trying my hardest to concentrate on anything else other than the heat of his gaze literally searing the surface of my skin.

_God is it getting hot in here or what._

"I'll see ya."

_She'__s walking away again._

"Kate wait." I suddenly call out to her knowing I'm taking a formidable risk in what I'm about to do, but at the same time I feel it's what I probably should have done earlier on.

_Should I s__top or just continue on walking?_

_What if I stop?_

_Is he going to tell me what my heart is already dreading to hear? _

_Should I listen to my head or my heart?_

I know it's useless to question it anyway because my feet had already stilled their journey the moment he called out my name in a tone seriously like no other.

I wait patiently yet anxiously for him to elaborate on his reason for wanting my attention. As if on cue he then walks up to me and places himself before me to say what I sense is considerably hard for him to reveal judging by the hesitance and fear displayed over his features.

"It's okay Jack you don't have to tell……."

"No, no just hear me out okay. I know things between us of late have been a little hazy but I …..I"

_Just say it Jack__!!_

"Jack you don……." I try to argue but he cuts me off once again while also holding his hand out for me to take.

_To take or not to tak__e…._

"I need to show you something."

_Take._

* * *

**Now I wonder what that**** something is lol. Anyway hope you guys like this chapter and the next one I can honestly say will have vast portions of Jate within it seeing as how this one ended. Now what is James so scared about and why did he walk off so suddenly? ****I can reveal that it does have something to do with Jack…….**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Okay here we go guys the jatiest and probably one of the most intense chapters in this fic so far. Hope you guys will like it and as always a big thank you for the reviews :)**

**P.S. In answer to your question audrey555 I think what I might do is apply more non usage within the thoughts and maybe even add the name of the person that's thinking it as well.**

Enjoy

My mind can't seem to concentrate on anything other than what or who he is taking me towards.

The possibilities worry me to a certain extent, but I have a distinct feeling at the same time that it's something I can handle. If he knew I couldn't then he wouldn't have made the decision to bring me here in the first place.

I know him that much to know that he would never hurt me intentionally.

The look of guilt I catch when his eyes suddenly land on me and then back on the path ahead of us is enough to convince me that maybe he was feeling as miserable as I truthfully was all this time.

_Maybe I did let my assumptions get the better of me?_

It literally seems like an eternity but the journey is finally over and here I am standing before a pale white door alongside a man whom I assume knows exactly what's behind it.

Before I can even strive to make the first move he's back in front of me again, this time grabbing both my hands in his in an almost urgent manner and the same definitely goes for what I'm now seeing within his still deep, luxuriously shaded brown eyes. The pain within those orbs becoming more apparent to me the longer I look into them.

_Oh God, is it bad?_

"Kate I…."

_C'mon man you can do __it man._

_Easy for you to say, you're my mind._

"Kate, before I ….I just want you to know that I do care about you, and it's because of that, that I want you to see this."

_Okay now he's scaring me._

I know I should probably say something perhaps reassuring in return but I'm simply too stunned by what he's just admitted to me.

_He cares about me?_

_I didn't just imagine that did I?_

_God I sound like some raving teenager…_

_Get a hold of yourself Katie and say something before you give him the wrong impression._

Jack I…" I try to respond but clearly I'm no match for his determination.

"Do you trust me Kate?" I ask knowing that it is a lot to ask after the impression I've given her so far, but I'm still hoping that she can see past it and focus more on what I'm proposing here.

_A fresh start._

"I trust you." I find myself saying before I even realise what this will mean for me and more importantly the relationship that is bound to develop as a result.

I know without a doubt that it's something I've wanted for a while now, the last six months to be precise but am I honestly ready to make that step?

_How __much longer are you going to live your life wondering "what if" Katie?_

The warm and gracious smile I then receive awards me with a good enough confirmation that this was definitely the right step to take in an effort to meet and conquer the next one.

Starting with what was behind that door.

With one last look of assurance shared with me he places his right hand on the door handle while tightly holding onto my hand with his left. His firm yet gentle grip giving me the confidence to even face something like this, but with all of it I still close my eyes to brace myself for the secret that awaits me once the door is opened.

1

2

3

4

5

"You can open them now Kate." I hear him say with the slightest amount of humour in his tone.

The first thing I see is a boy. A gorgeous little boy at that but what forces me to frown considerably is the obscene amount of tubes lodging themselves into virtually every part of his body.

I can also tell that this boy means a lot to Jack judging by the way he's looking at him. Much like a Father would over any child of theirs.

_Oh my God is he….._

_He's a Father. Wow!!_

My eyes then fall upon the woman sitting beside him, looking so utterly torn and helpless that it causes my heart to ache for her. Even more when she strains to pulls herself out of the lifeless trance she was in to acknowledge my presence, with an expected expression of confusion none the less.

_She doesn't even know who I am let alone why I'm here._

"Mom this is Kate."

The moment is awkward to say the least but I still nod with a humble smile under this woman's watchful gaze.

_I can already tell__ that it's going to be quite a task to gain her approval._

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Shepherd." I still attempt to offer while outstretching my hand in a friendly gesture. Me half expecting her to either get a knife out of nowhere and cut it off or simply not take it.

Thankfully she goes with the latter and more humane option, evoking a sigh of sheer and utter relief out of me.

_So we can rule out secretly psychotic…_

"Kate?" the woman suddenly questions while furrowing her eyebrows to presumably recollect something and like the flash of a light bulb it hits her.

"Oh so you're the "lasagne girl" from across the street." The woman revealed and I couldn't help but chuckle while eyeing a blushing Jack.

"I guess I am." I tease bringing a smile to the elderly woman's face, especially as Jack attempts to cower even further with embarrassment.

_He's so gonna pay for that one._

"So what do you do Kate?"

The question is admittedly a stomper because I really want to make a good impression here, but the subject of my profession could really take some time to properly explain.

_What if what I do doesn't__ meet her expectations?_

_As long as you stay true and honest that's all that matters._

_Since when did I become so philosophical?_

"I…" I start off but I'm cut off by the rather loud ringing of my mobile of which I immediately apologise for before excusing myself from the room.

"Hello."

"What you searching the whole damn Hospital now?"

_Always the smartass isn't he._

"I'll be….." I attempt to explain but I'm cut off when I'm suddenly faced with a curious looking Jack.

"I'll be there in a few minutes." I finish feeling nothing but regret for forcing the man across from me to then frown in realisation of what's about to happen.

_My brother really has perfect timing doesn'__t he?_

"I have to….."

"I understand." I respond to her wordless apology though I still can't help but feel like a little kid who hasn't gotten what they wanted. In my case it's the beautiful woman now standing before me.

_Maybe….._

"Kate I ….."

"You have a lovely little boy Jack and I hope he gets better." I offer in a sympathetic manner while being forced to revert to my awkwardness around him again.

_I still can't believe he has a son__._

"So I'll see you." I nervously offer in an attempt to give him some hope but his negligence to reply leaves me disheartened considerably and I feel like we're back to square one.

"Yeah." Is all I offer in turn and for the second time today I watch her walk away from me, despite my efforts to make her see the one thing I was so afraid to show her.

_You still can make her understand. _

_Maybe even tell her everything._

"Kate." I then call out failing to stop her at first and I can't really blame her at this point, but at the same time I don't want to leave things like this.

_I want to come clean with her._

So with that in mind I sprint to catch up with her, and in an effort to stop her from going any further, I then place myself in front of her and take the plunge of a lifetime regardless of what she might think of it because I have to show her how determined I am about this.

_About us_

_Here goe__s nothing, _is all I think before I place my hands on either side of her face while leaning in to do something I've been longing to do for the last six months.

* * *

**Oh and can you guess what he did and yes you'll get to find out in the next chapter, detailed thoughts and all lol.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**See I'm getting there with the updates** **, lol ;)**

Enjoy

It feels like I'm being jolted by a thousand livewires all at once but it's heavenly effects is what makes me strive to give the word "passionate" a whole new meaning.

_How is it that she tastes like guavas?_

_Is it her lipstick or my imagination getting the better me?_

_Who cares man because you're doing it. _

_You're finally kissing _ _her._

_--_

_Oh my God he's kissing me._

_Should I pull away or just…._

"Kate" I then feel him moaning in a barely audible whisper against my trembling lips, almost done in a way to dismiss any doubts I have about continuing this any further.

_Do I_ _really want to?_

_Err…_ _six months of continuously pining over him is strong enough to suggest something._

Even though my mind solely speaks for my physical liking of him, I still know on some level that maybe he's doing this out of emotional desperation, and for some reason it doesn't bode well with me because as selfish as it may sound……

_I want it to mean something more._

_Not as a way to ease or make me accept what he's just shown me._

With that I pull away from him much to his shock and growing disappointment when he gauges my reaction to what we just did.

"Kate I can……." He strives to appease me with an explanation to his actions up until this moment, but I just award him with another look of shock and then do the one thing I want to half kick myself in the head for.

_However I need to think this through._

_Including what just happened_ _as well._

_Run_

Much to my relief and disappointment at the same time he fails to stop me in any way, and as a result it forces me to lean with logic rather than spontaneity from that moment onward.

I walk away heartbroken for a second time.

I'm disheartened to say the least but to a certain extent I was expecting this. Still it doesn't ease the pain I can't seem to find an escape from.

No matter where I look, what I think, I'm always gonna be reminded of what I saw in her eyes the moment she pulled away from me. A look filled with so much fear that it raises nothing but panic and dread from within me.

_Have I lost her completely?_

_Was this a step too far to take?_

If it was then why do I still feel that it was the right thing to do?

Maybe it's because my heart is ready to open itself to someone again. A thing I never thought would happen after Andrea even if the feeling clearly wasn't mutual despite my efforts to prove that I was a good man and husband to her at the time. The truth of the matter was that there was no real spark to begin with. The only thing she did spark with however was my bank account.

_You got a lot of convincing to do if you're thinking of still giving this_ _thing with Kate a proper shot, though somehow I know that the fight will be worth it this time._

_She's worth it._

"Jack." I then suddenly hear my Mother calling out to me and what immediately captures my interest is the sheer sense of relief in her voice and the reason is clear once I see it with my own eyes.

_He's awake!!_

My boy is okay even if my heart breaks to know that there is no real guarantee that he won't meet the same unfortunate fate his Mother did.

All I can do is hope along with something I haven't done since I lost my baby sister. In turn blaming whoever it was up there for taking away such an amazing person and also denying little Thomas the right to have a Mother.

_Things happen for a reason_ _._

_Yeah, but why did Claire have to pay the price?_

_Focus on the now or you'll be in serious need of appearing on a freaking talk show_ _sometime soon._

"Da….Daddy Jwack?" the little guy struggles with all his might to call out to me in the form of a referral that brings an all knowing smile to my face.

_He always has to put his own twist on it._

Although it's better than being called the other thing I have no choice but to be to him ever since he lost it to such an unfair cause.

_Focus._

_------------_

"There you are. I've been trying to call ya like fifteen times." Is the welcome I get when I see him leaning against the surface of my car looking a tad annoyed and of course I'm in no mood to deal with it.

_God what have I done?_

_-----_

"Hey, you alright sis?" I ask her, immediately springing to attention when I take keen not of her perturbed expression. Her tear streaked face enough to fill me with an all familiar sense of brotherly rage.

_What did the bastard do this time?_

"Got my keys." She tries to joke but I can see right through it and with that I do something I rarely do, mainly cause I'm the man and all, but it doesn't matter now cause she needs my support.

So I wordlessly pull her into my arms and she immediately breaks down, abandoning the control and leaving me to simply rock her in a soothing rhythm and motion.

All I wanna do right now is……

_Beat the crap out of that guy the same way I wanted to the last time our paths crossed. _

_He's the one who took Claire away from me._

_No matter what they say happened. _

* * *

**Ooooh so ** **James knows Jack and apparently Claire too which explains his avoiding of Jack earlier on. Anyway more will be revealed on it in the chapters to come, including the whole Andrea thing. That's if you guys want it.**

**I can officially reveal that we may have not seen the last of Andrea…..**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**I gotta say guys that I'm not really feeling much review love at the moment ****yet at the same time I'm assuming that's the treatment a writer gets when they don't update regularly or if the story lacks interest in general. Anyway here's another update and I will still try my hardest to get the other ones up as well.**

* * *

I can't believe it's been nearly two months since I last saw or talked to him.

_4__ weeks, 4 days, 2 hours and 23 minutes to be exact, but eh who's counting._

I wonder if he's okay, if his son is….God I still can't believe it.

_Jack Shepherd has a son. _

The questions naturally present themselves with burning curiosity on my part.

"Who was his Mother, and more importantly where was she?"

Surely this woman would care enough to be there for her own son, especially in his critical time of need.

"How can Jack be okay with that?"

I know it's something I shouldn't worry or care about, considering the way I left things with him back in L.A., but I still wanna know.

_He's just a phone call away._

And say what? "Hi Jack it's Kate. You know the one who bolted back to Iowa the moment she found out you had a kid."

_You said you were visiting family._

_What family aside from James and Shannon?_

_Shut up._

Anyway I'd be surprised if he even stays on the line past the point of "Hi"

_You'll never know unless you try. _

------

"We're running out of time Jack."

The more he's reminded of it and the more useless and annoyed he feels.

He and his Mother had both tested to see if they were matching donors for Thomas' rare condition, but sadly they didn't suffice and now there was only one other option.

Thomas' biological Father.

Jack knew it was a stab in the dark and going against every wish of his, but in an effort to see Thomas well again he knew he would have to put his grudges aside.

So with that in mind he flipped open his phone and got in touch with a close friend of his who worked for the police force. A few minutes later and the person called back with a location and an address Jack hoped was still valid.

_Please God let this work._

"Jack." He heard his Mother call out to him the moment he got off the phone.

"Everything okay?"

_What do I__ tell her?_

_The same thing you told yourself……. you're doing it for Thomas._

"I have to find him Mom."

She frowned with confusion at first but soon caught onto who his dreaded tone was suggesting and spared no time in issuing her simple reply.

"Okay."

He was surprised yet relieved at the same time by her compliancy with his plan, and with nothing more other than a hug and a whispered "good luck" conveyed from his Mother, he was off.

Off on the long journey to Iowa.

------

The phone was in her hand but she still couldn't bring herself to dial the blasted number.

_Tomorrow I'll call. _

_Much like you__'ve said the last 7 times. _

"Ugh" I grunt in frustration of my hesitance, dashing the phone back on it's receiver.

"Whoa, what did that phone ever do to ya?" comes the teasing voice of my brother and a glare is all I offer in return.

"Sorry" he mutters under his breath and then attempts to fish around the kitchen for breakfast. Finding the task considerably hard cause the kitchen itself wasn't as he remembered it.

"What did ya do sis?" he guesses without even having to think about the culprit.

_She's always gotta keep her hands busy with somethin'_

"Just saved you an unnecessary risk of vermin infestation is what I did. Honestly James how can you live like this."

"Sorry Mom." He scoffs earning yet another glare from me which soon gives way to a smile when he points to a stain on the counter saying "you missed a spot".

From there on the rest of the day was spent completely cleaning out his house. James reluctantly helping out here and there, but he suddenly became alert and efficient when Kate stumbled upon a picture frame hidden amongst the DVD's. The picture of a pretty blonde girl within it.

"Gimme that." He argued whilst attempting to snatch the photo frame away from me.

"Who is she?" I naturally ask curious to say the least at how serious and defensive he's become.

"Just some girl." He explains trying to snatch the frame from me again, and in the midst of my surprise he's successful in acquiring the item this time. Quickly walking away without a word to explain his actions.

_She's definitely not some girl. _

_It's none of your business._

_He's my brother._

**Knock, Knock**

She immediately frowned in confusion, especially when she checked her watch to see what time it actually was.

_2am._

_Who'd think of visiting us at this hour?_

With no chance of playing "not at home", I move towards the door. Slow and cautious in my approach, but that all changes when I check to see who it is through the eye hole.

It's….

_What is he……_

_Why is he...._

"Jack? What are you doing here?"

* * *

**Now how will Kate react o****nce she finds out why Jack came and who is the blonde woman in the picture?**


End file.
